On The Trail of My Little Art Director


Daffodil: “Jezirae (sp?) laughed at me.”

Me: “Why did she do that?”

Daffodil: “I told her, ‘NO! Don’t step there! You’re hurting it!'”

Me: “What was she hurting?”

Daffodil: “She said there was nothing there!”

Me: “What was she hurting?”

Daffodil: “I said, ‘NO! You’re stepping right on it!'”

Me: “What was she hurting?”

Daffodil: “She was hurting my Magination!”

Me: “Your what?”

Daffodil: “My Magination! She said there was nothing there, but my Magination was right there in front of her!”

Me: “Well, not everyone sees the same things.”

Daffodil: “I know. Nobody sees my Magination but me.”

Me: “What does your Magination look like?”

Daffodil: “You should draw a picture of it.”

Me: “Well, okay, but I don’t know what it looks like. You’ll have to describe it for me.”

Daffodil: “Okay. It’s about this big- (medium sized dog gestures) and it has scales.”

Me: “What does its head look like?”

Daffodil: “Well, kind of big, like this. It has a mouth, and big eyes.”

Me: “Is it like a snake head?”

Daffodil: “Maybe a little. It doesn’t have ears. It has ears. Just not on the outside.”

Me: “Does it have fangs?”

Daffodil: “No fangs. It’s nice. It has regular teeth.”

Me: “Like that?”

Daffodil: “Well… ”

Me: “What kind of legs does it have?”

Daffodil: “It doesn’t have any legs.”

Me: “So it’s kind of like a snake? A big fat snake?”

Daffodil: “No! It has feet. But no legs.”

Me: “Um… okay… how many feet does it have?”

Daffodil: “Four, of course.”

Me: “So, what kind of feet does it have?”

Daffodil: “Big. Thick. (makes round shapes). Like a lelef…. like a lefuh…”

Me: “Like an elephant?”

Daffodil: “Sort of. But not really.”

Me: (drawing elephant feet anyway) “Like this?”

Daffodil: “No toenails!”

Me: “Too late.”

Daffodil: “It’s in a tub.”

Me: “Like this?”

Daffodil: “No, deeper.”

Daffodil: “Deeper.”

Daffodil: “And it has claws.”

Me: “On the feet?”

Daffodil: “No, the tub. Like a bathtub.”

Daffodil: “Can you put him under the spray?”

Me: “Like a shower? Sure…”

Daffodil: (taking the pencil) “I’m going to draw tiles.”

Me: “Alright. Less is more. Too many will make it hard to see what’s going on.”

Daffodil: “Okay. Like this?”

Me: “Sure, that’s good.”

Daffodil: “Now draw me, giving it a bath.”

Me: “I’d better put you behind it.”

Daffodil: “It doesn’t like baths. Write the words!”

Daffodil: “That doesn’t look like my Magination.”

Me: “Sorry, I wish I could see it, it’s hard to draw something just from a description.”

Daffodil: “That’s okay. Maybe it’s his cousin.”



My Little Art Director Rides Again

MLAD Rides Again

Since this My Little Art Director business is starting to be A Thing, I should say a few words about Daffodil in that role.

I haven’t all that much experience with Art Directors per se. Most of the time I’ve dealt directly with clients, but, of course, they have their own ideas about what they want. Vague, contradictory, absurd ideas completely outside their budgets, but ideas, nevertheless. Which, okay, is not that different than the professional art directors I’ve dealt with…

Daffodil is, in this context, an excellent client. The remuneration is not great, but hey, cheapskate business clients are not a lot better. Daffodil is a demanding client, but she knows what she wants and likes it when she gets it. She’s very particular about some things, but she knows my style and doesn’t ask me to do it like Picasso or Sargent or Frazetta would. And, you know, hugs. All in all, my favorite Art Director so far. So, if you’re thinking of hiring me for something, consider her as a model. Except for the remuneration part. Baby needs new shoes.

Daffodil: “Papa, I want you to draw me a picture.”

Me: “Okay. What am I drawing?”

Daffodil: “A unicorn.”

Me: “Alright. Like this?”

Daffodil: “Yeth. It’s a girl unicorn.”

Me: “Okay.”

Daffodil: “Remember, it’s in front of a cave.”

Me: “Like this?”

Daffodil: “Yeth. What’s that? Eyes?”

Me: “Yes. Is that okay?”

Daffodil: “Yeth. It’s a dragon. An angry dragon.”

Me (I shade in the cave mouth): “How can you tell he’s angry?”

Daffodil: “He’s making lots of noises- grrrrr… rawrrrr!!!!! Growl! Roar! But the unicorn doesn’t care.”

Daffodil: “She says, “neigh.””


My Little Art Director Strikes Back

My Little

Daffodil: “Papa, I want you to draw me a picture.”

Me: “Okay.”

Daffodil: “It’s a picture of a king.”

Me: “Alright. What is the king doing.”

Daffodil: “He’s lying on a beach chair. You know, like at the beach.”

Me: “Is he at the beach?”

Daffodil: “Maybe.”

(I draw a fat man in trunks on a beach lounge, with a crown on his head).

Daffodil: “His head is in a gazebo.”

Me: “Huh? Just his head?”

Daffodil: “Yeth. It’s just a little gazebo.”

Me: “Okay. You know what a gazebo is, right?”

Daffodil: “Yeth. It’s one of those things. With a roof. And like this… (gestures where the uprights belong).”

Me: “Okay. How’s that?”

Daffodil: “Good. Now somebody is fanning him. With a palm leaf.”

Me: “Alright, who is fanning him.”

Daffodil: “It could be you.”

Me: “No. I’m drawing the picture. I’m not doing all the work.”

Daffodil: “Oh, awwight… I’ll do it…”

Me: (looking at the drawing) “Hmmm… maybe you’d better be standing on a box…”

Daffodil: “Okay. And wearing a tiara. And I’m wearing a dress.”

Me: “How is that?”

Daffodil: “Good. Now draw my mom.”

I draw her mom standing behind the King’s beach lounge… and add the text…

The King

Monster Chapter

Salt mining being what it is, Terrible Twos Day has been cancelled this week while The Management recovers from the plague. In its place we present to you the first installment of Monster Chapter, by our guest blogger, Daffodil. Over the weekend, while I was dying of Ebola, I suggested that she “draw, and let Papa rest.” She did, smacking me on the forehead every fifteen minutes or so to rouse me to take dictation on her epic. Here, for your delectation, is Chapter 1: