My Little Art Director Strikes Back Again

MLAD STRIKES BACK AGAIN

Daffodil: “Papa, draw me a picture.”

Me: “What are we drawing?”

Daffodil: “Me washing and taking care of a dog.”

Me: “You washing and taking care of a dog?”

Daffodil: “No! Me watching a dog!”

Me: “Watching a dog? Like, with your eyeballs?”

Daffodil: “NO! Washing! Washing! WASHING!”

Me: “Like with a scrub brush in a tub?”

Daffodil: “YES! WASHING A DOG!”

Me: “That’s what I said the first time.”

Daffodil: “Wait, I have to draw this first…” (Takes pencil, puts two crossed lines across paper.)

Me: “What is this?”

Daffodil: “For the pictures. Little pictures. First, me washing the dog.”

Me: “What, four pictures? You’re a lot of trouble.”

Daffodil: “Just draw it.”

Daffodil: “What is that? A bathtub?”

Me: “No, just a wash tub. You’re washing the dog outside.”

Daffodil: “Can’t dogs just get in the bathtub?”

Me: “Sure, but they splash a lot of water in the house.”

Daffodil: “Oh, okay. Is that Sarah?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s our dog.”

Daffodil: “She doesn’t look that happy.”

Me: “She doesn’t like baths.”

Daffodil: “Okay, now I’m feeding her. Feeding her dog food.”

Me: “Okay. Like that?”

Daffodil: “That’s okay. Now she’s taking a nap.”

Me: “Alright.”

Daffodil: “Do dogs need pillows?”

Me: “Not really, but they like them. When they were wild animals they just lay on the ground, or on piles of leaves and stuff. But they like pillows.”

Daffodil: “Now in this one we’re playing.”

Me: “What kind of playing?”

Daffodil: “You know, running around. She chases a stick and brings it back to me.”

Me: (Sarah does not fetch) “Okay.”

Daffodil: “It’s lovely…”

Dog Watch

My Little Art Director Returns

MLAD RETURNS2

Broom Dog

Sarah is our Great Dane. Or Not-So-Great Dane. At 80 lbs, she’s miniscule. Sometimes I call her my Tea Cup Dane. Like most Danes, she’s not good for much but cuddling, and Sarah is not even very good at that, having issues with feet and spooning and hugging, and having one utterance for every occasion, a noise that might be either a purr or a growl, but doesn’t have much of any relationship to what’s going on at the moment. She can be pressing her neck against my hand so I’ll rub it harder, and making this noise. Or discussing a foot too close to her tail, which in a moment will cause her to leap up and seek the shelter of her own bed.

Her only real talent seems to be shedding, which she does, regardless of season, at the pace of a much larger dog with a much vaster surface area. Every day she provides enough loose hair to cover two Sphynx Cats and a Naked Mole Rat. Naturally, this is a regular topic of conversation between Daffodil and myself, but today Princess D came up with a brilliant solution that may foreshadow a career in genetic engineering. I drew it up for her, and wrote down her text. It pretty much speaks for itself.

Art direction021

Wide Ranging Discussions

Daffodil: “Sarah has hair all over.”

Me: “Yes…”

Daffodil: “Our hair gets long, but hers doesn’t.”

Me: “No, hers just gets a certain length, and then it falls out.”

Daffodil: “And then it grows back! It’s like a cycle.”

Me: “Yes.”

Daffodil: “What does cycle mean?”

Me: “It’s something that goes around, that keeps repeating itself.”

Daffodil: “Like a unicycle!”

Me: “Yes. Do you know why it’s called a unicycle?”

Daffodil: “Why?”

Me: “It has a wheel that goes around and around, that’s the cycle part. Do you know what ‘uni’ means?”

Daffodil: “What?”

Me: “‘Uni’ means ‘one’. A unicycle has one wheel.”

Daffodil: “Do you remember when I was uni years old?”

Me (choking): “Yes I do.”

Daffodil: “I used to bite people.”

Me: “Yes, I remember.”

Daffodil: “I used to bite you all the time.”

Me: “Yes. I remember.”

Daffodil: “I used to bite Mama, too. But only on the breasts.”

My Little Art Director

In the car after I picked up Daffodil from her mum’s:

Daffodil: “I want you to draw me a picture.”

Me: “Okay. What kind of a picture.”

Daffodil: “This one is a picture of a cat.”

Me: “Alright.”

Daffodil: “Somebody is holding her.”

Me: “Alright.”

Daffodil: “It’s a girl, remember?”

Me: “Uh, okay.”

Daffodil: ” And there’s a boy.”

Me: “This is getting to be quite a picture.”

Daffodil: “He helps her take care of the cat.”

Me: “Ah… okay.”

Daffodil: “In a living room. With lots of decorations.”

Me: “Sigh…”

Daffodil: “He has a dog.”

Me: “Okay…”

Daffodil: “It’s a chihuahua. A really small chihuahua.”

Me: “There are no big chihuahuas.”

Daffodil: “Can chihuahuas be fat?”

Me: “Yes…”

Daffodil: “That makes them look really big.”

Arriving home, we proceeded to greet our not-chihuahua and then start production on the drawing. After a few strokes on the girl’s face:

Daffodil: “What are you drawing?”

Me: “A little girl.”

Daffodil: “She looks like a big girl.”

Me: “How big?”
Daffodil: “A teenager. Are teenagers grown-ups?”

Me: “No. They’re children. Obnoxious children.”

Daffodil: “Why are they obnoxious?”

Me: “Because they think they’re grown-ups.”

Daffodil: “I do that sometimes.”

Me: ” . ”

Daffodil: “Is that cat sleeping?”

Me: “It’s resting, anyway. It’s always hard to tell if a cat is really sleeping.”

Daffodil: “Now draw the boy.”

Me: “Is he a big boy or a little boy?”

Daffodil: “Big.”

Me: “Bigger than the girl?”

Daffodil: “Yeth.”

Daffodil: “What is that?”

Me: “It’s his head.”

Daffodil: “Is that supposed to be a dog?”

Me: “Either that or a big mouse.”

Daffodil: “It’s a chihuahua.”

Me: “They have kind of pointy faces.”

Daffodil: “But it doesn’t need a beak.”

Me: “Do you want this to be a basket or a bucket.”

Daffodil: “A bucket.”

Me: “Okay. He’s going to give the chihuahua a bath.”

Daffodil: “Don’t forget the party decorations!”

I draw bunting and a picture frame.

Daffodil: “What’s that? A window?”

I draw a face in it.

Daffodil: “Oh. A picture frame. Draw another one.”

I do.
Daffodil: “This one is a girl.”

Me: “Okay.”

Daffodil: “Now a window. And their back yard. What are those pointy things?”

Me: “A fence. A picket fence.”

Daffodil: “Okay. Now don’t forget the streamers!”

Daffodil: “Ahhh…. Isn’t it beautiful….”

While I ate dinner, Daffodil colored and embellished the drawing. It is now even more beautiful.

Party002